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Old 04-15-2010, 09:36 PM
ak2381 ak2381 is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Charleston, WV
Posts: 119
Default GF's Husband is Hurting

I just posted this in the New to Polyamory area but since this is my blog I am going to put it here as well so I can keep everything together.

So for a mono this should probably be a dream come true but I just see the pain it is causing my husband.
J's husband, who oddly enough is also poly, swinger actually is more his title although he has fallen in lover with women outside his marriage. They just had to move so he and her are no longer together. Anyway back to topic.
J's husband is becoming increasingly jealous of J and my husband. So for the sake of her marriage J might have to end things with my husband. She just doesn't want to hurt hers anymore. And I feel for her and understand that.

But now my husband is hurting even though he understand why she might have to do this. She is talking things out with her husband. I know he is trying to be ok with her being in love with another man but it is hard for him. He has tried very hard to step aside but doesn't seem to be handling things very well. Sometimes he is so ok that he sends my husband pics of J in bikinis and lingerie. Other times he is breaking down and saying he gives up. Yet he leads a poly life himself, he just doesn't have an OSO at the moment, but he does have little flings from time to time.

It is going to be a long weekend of tears, talks and pain. Someone is going to come out hurting. And me, the mono, I think is the only one holding it together. Ironic wouldn't you say?

I am trying to be there for my husband. I know he is having a hard time with this. So am I. I have learned to be friends with J. Is there anything I can do besides be there and hold him? Her husband isn't really into talking to the rest of us. We have all tried but he refuses to get in the middle of it. I know he feels inferior because he is a heavier guy. My husband, the gym fanatic comes along, and his wife falls in love with him as well.

I wish I could help them. I am still accepting all of this as well. But I guess through all my research and talking on here I am handling this better than the three of them. Wierd that the mono has all the answers.
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