I am wondering if it would be more fair, when I have this conversation, to disclose that I looked him up and that I KNOW that he is married and is a father, rather than ask him leading questions.
I am concerned that he has been imperfectly forthcoming, but I did, purposefully, search him down on the Internet. It took me a little effort to learn what I did. I feel some general shame about stalking him, even though the information has been appropriately eye-opening, and even though anything publicly accessible on the internet is fair game.
Trust is a hard thing to build into a relationship, and it is as important in casual relationships as it is in serious. In fact, it is more important, because of the possible risks and personal-safety issues involved with being intimate with a stranger. So, even though this connection was/is supposed to be centered on sex, I want there to be complete trust and openness (if it is to happen).
Well, I don't know if I will actually have the cojones to say that I spent time hunting him down on-line, but part of me feels like I should.