Originally Posted by london
If my partner suggested I refrain from sex with my new partner, I'd really be horrified.
Haha, hello Miss Literal. I said it to test what he was saying about sex being so unimportant to him. Going on about how he's gone without sex for years at a time and so on. That he's not pursuing women with sex on his mind. Frankly I thought he was lying to himself, or downplaying how sexual he was to seem more "pure" or "spiritual" or "feminist" or something.
I knew damn well he desires greatly to fuck Carla. He's told me outright they are "hot" for each other. So, I wasn't buying this schtick about him not needing or wanting sex all that much, that that isn't part of his motivation to be dating so much right now. I just needed him to grow up and admit to his sluttiness, since that evidence is constantly in my face. It takes one to know one, I said. Don't kid a kidder.
I found out the times he's gone without sex were when he felt more Aspergers than he does now, he was more introverted, his wife was becoming less and less interested in sex, and his boys were starting school and needing lots of parental interventions to meet their needs (both Asperger's).
But that said, he did lose his virginity young, he always had a gf through high school, college and grad school. Women are drawn to him like moths to flame, knickers thrown to the winds.
15 years ago he became more social and started joining pagan groups, and friending women on FB, and dating. Then okc came into the picture. His growth involved "fitting in" as more NT now, learning social graces so he doesn't come off as awkward and "weird" (his word), feeling accepted and even liked by his social groups, and also, having gfs and having sex with them.
He has told me about one woman he met thru okc, and she didn't want sex, but wanted a tennis partner, and so they did that for a couple years. (He was however, dating 2 other women at the time who he got to bang... lol) Otherwise, he's had sexual relationships, some more brief and casual, some more serious, for the huge majority of his life.