First I want to apologize for dragging you all into our drama.
No need, often times the BEST source of suggestions is an outside, uninvolved party. I tell everyone-if you REALLY want to help your situation, invite the rest of the people in it to the board. Not for the boards benefit-for your own!
Because when we read things here we get a different feel for what each other is going through.
You are diffferent people, you do have different ways of seeing things-and that is OK!!!
You are also both in love with the same man, so it's preferable to find a way to work together, instead of against one another.
That doesn't mean kissing ass, it doesn't mean letting go of everything that is important to you either.
It also doesn't mean that you lose the sanctity and importance of nearly 20 years of history-you don't. No one, absolutely NO ONE can replace that. I have 17 with GG, believe me, I understand.
It does mean that there is sanctity and importance in every year of our life-and that should be honored as well. Going forward these will include some that are YOURS, some that are HERS, some that belong to all three of you. That's ok too.
KT-please see-her being on here is a good thing. Great relationships are built on honesty, openness, forthrightness...... you and she, you have a relationship that is struggling to be built. Much of the reason I am sure is that you don't have those things between you. Honesty maybe-but open, frank, forthright, genuine, sincerity? I don't think so.
Use this forum and the responses you both get to help guide YOU BOTH into a more agreeable place where you can revel in your differences. Instead of fighting over the fact that you aren't the same.