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Old 05-02-2014, 06:51 PM
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Join Date: Oct 2011
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
Ginger wonders how we can get my heart to feel better around this, to get in line with the simple poly principles my head understands and endorses.
I don't have much to add that other folks haven't already said, but I feel you here. You know time is my big bugaboo (well, one of them, but generally the more meatier of all the bugaboos), and I still wrestle with the head versus heart thing ("Of course he needs time to do x/y/z" versus "Why is he choosing to spend MORE time away from me?!").

For my particular issue, we just need to keep addressing it (I don't ask, nor do I want Chops to not go out - I want to deal with it when he does, and see if it gets more tolerable, or if it's something we need to change, or adjust), and I guess finding the little things (e.g., Ginger not giving you all the details of his other relationships) that help make it easier, despite your head telling you that it "should" be one way or another.

Heck, PM me (we're not all THAT far apart, geographically, I don't think) if you want to just get together over coffee (or even just virtually) and vent, if you just need to blow some steam. Sometimes, just carping about the stuff you're feeling lets it get acknowledged, felt, and able to be put aside for a bit.
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Dramatis personae:
Me: Mono. Divorced, two kids (DanceGirl, 13; and PokéGirl, 11), two cats, one house, many projects.
Chops: My partner. Poly. In relationships with me, Xena, and Noa.
Xena: Poly. In relationships with Chops and Noa, and dating others.
Noa: Married, Poly. In relationships with Chops and Xena (individually).

Blog thread: A Mono's Journey Into Poly-Land (or, "Aw hell, there's no road map?!")
Slightly more polished blog with a mono/poly focus: From Baltic to Boardwalk
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