View Single Post
Old 05-02-2014, 06:51 PM
YouAreHere's Avatar
YouAreHere YouAreHere is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: SoNH
Posts: 1,343

Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
Ginger wonders how we can get my heart to feel better around this, to get in line with the simple poly principles my head understands and endorses.
I don't have much to add that other folks haven't already said, but I feel you here. You know time is my big bugaboo (well, one of them, but generally the more meatier of all the bugaboos), and I still wrestle with the head versus heart thing ("Of course he needs time to do x/y/z" versus "Why is he choosing to spend MORE time away from me?!").

For my particular issue, we just need to keep addressing it (I don't ask, nor do I want Chops to not go out - I want to deal with it when he does, and see if it gets more tolerable, or if it's something we need to change, or adjust), and I guess finding the little things (e.g., Ginger not giving you all the details of his other relationships) that help make it easier, despite your head telling you that it "should" be one way or another.

Heck, PM me (we're not all THAT far apart, geographically, I don't think) if you want to just get together over coffee (or even just virtually) and vent, if you just need to blow some steam. Sometimes, just carping about the stuff you're feeling lets it get acknowledged, felt, and able to be put aside for a bit.
Dramatis personae:
Me: 47/F, Divorced with 2 kids, 2 cats, fish, a tarantula, and a 1930s house with many projects.
Chops: 48/M, Partner of 6 years.
Spinner: 52/M, Friend I went on a couple dates with. Divorced, Mono, "just friends".
Xena: 47/F, Chops' partner of 6 years
Curls: 50/F, Chops' partner of 1 year

Supporting Characters:
Choplet: Chops' son
DanceGirl: My oldest daughter
Pokégirl: My youngest daughter
Reply With Quote