The first time I got pregnant, I was depressed (but I didn't have an eating disorder, so I know nothing about that). It took me a long time to realize that I need to go to thereapy if I want to be able to take care of a baby. It took even longer to realize that I needed it to be able to take care of me! My therapy started just before the baby was born, but it would have been better if it would have started earlier.
Do speak up. Do tell others about what _you_ need and want and where your limits are. Talk about your fears, too. Talking about these things and recognizing and naming you boundaries are skills you are going to need as a mother. I felt like my first born was constantly scratching my soul with his presence. I was too open to everything, I had no knowledge of my own boundaries, even I kept crossing them all the time. And to add a child to thatů You still have time to work on these things. And you clearly have people who care about you and want to help. Use the opportunity. Let them. You have already taken a good start at talking about you, I think you can learn all this