Originally Posted by Magdlyn
Ginger wonders how we can get my heart to feel better around this, to get in line with the simple poly principles my head understands and endorses.
In my experience with having positive, rational thoughts about something being sabotaged by problematic emotions, it takes time. Particularly if the problematic emotions have a good reason for being there - as yours do. You had a pretty horrible experience with your ex. I know it was a long time ago and that Ginger isn't your ex but I think it'll take a while for your emotions to know that too.
Time, gentle exposure to the difficult area, celebrating small victories and making sure to take plenty of time and patience with yourself as you work through it.
I don't think there is a quick fix but I do think that some relationships are worth the effort.