Originally Posted by KC43
You've said a few times in this thread something along the lines of "I don't know the rules". What rules?
Polyamory isn't an all or nothing thing. It isn't something that has a guidebook to follow. What works for one person/couple/triad/whatever isn't going to work for all.
The rules are the ones YOU make, hopefully in conjunction with Jason and Michael, that make the situation least painful and easiest for the three of you to work within.
That said, I have to agree with Marcus that to me, your situation doesn't sound particularly healthy relationship-wise. But you're the only one who can decide whether it's a situation that's going to work for you and whether you're willing to accept two men who refuse to communicate, one of whom keeps you hidden because he's afraid of what his family will do.
Guess, when I talk about the "Rule" I am simply trying to understand other's experiences and the ways of making my relationships "healthy."
I do find the irony in my relationship with Michael being seen as unhealthy though. Not sure what makes it unhealthy, and what would make any other relationship, with all of the emotions of relationships, healthy. There are people, with different personalities. There are people, some like to talk, some do not. Some open up, some do not. My parents have a healthy relationship, and my dad barely talks. So, not sure what puts the Unhealthy label on a relationship with Michael and me... other than the fact that I am now dating someone else! But, this board here is about the only place that wouldn't describe THAT as unhealthy. I don't know. Just venting I guess.
That Michael has a family who doesn't accept me... Guess I am used to that. We have been going at this for a few years now, and that is not changing. Does that make his and my relationship unhealthy... because he is living through the torment of not being able to really be with me because of it... well, I'm sure other people have other problems as well. This is one that is what it is. Not a battle I am willing or find necessary to fight any longer.