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Old 04-30-2014, 07:41 PM
LMiment LMiment is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 3

Thank you everyone for your advice. I took my husband aside this morning and I told him that I wasn't comfortable with sexual endeavors with M and T, but that I was fine with him continuing it. The issue is that he doesn't seem too comfortable with it. It wasn't that he was afraid of having sex with them without me, as he's done it before, but he said that he felt like he was 'leaving me out', so to speak. I told him that it was perfectly fine and that I didn't mind and I just really wasn't comfortable with doing anything sexual further than kissing and maybe a blowjob or handjob (Even then, that pushes it a bit for me). He seemed okay with it, but I worry that he isn't. On past issues or occasions, he's brought it up with M or T or in more drastic cases, my parents (That's an entirely different story) and he's made it seem like it's more of an issue than it is. I just don't really feel comfortable having sex with someone that isn't my husband. I love that dates and kisses and romantic things we all share. It's nice and it makes me feel sort of safe (Does that make sense?), but he doesn't seem to get that I'm fine continuing this poly relationship, just without sex on my part.

As for the pregnancy, I still don't know what to do... In terms of what I meant by uncomfortable, here is the situation. My husband and I have been together since college and have known M since then too. She married T a little after I got married. From the middle of high school until the end of college, I struggled with an eating disorder and major depressive disorder (I don't mean to turn this into another overdramatic post or the like, I apologize) that led to frequent hospital stays and regular therapy sessions. I reached the weight that I needed to be at two years ago (Still underweight, but in a much healthier range). My husband constantly worried (and sometimes still does) about my weight and fears that I may get worse and stop taking my antidepressants or something of the like. I've assured him that I won't, but people still worry regardless, no matter who they are.

As for the relationship between M and I, we're close friends. We've known each other for nearly as long as I've known my husband. So that's once of the reasons why I feel guilty for being jealous of her pregnancy. She handles it so well and she looks amazing, all of the weight just goes straight to her chest and belly and she had barely any morning sickness, you get the idea - the perfect pregnancy. I've been talking with her and being nice and asking questions about the baby, but I've also been avoiding her like I have the other members of the household and mostly keeping to myself.

When I found out I was pregnant, things just haven't been good. The clinic I went to said that I'm about ten weeks (My period has always been a bit off, so I didn't think about it really until it was two months without it) and the symptoms are getting more severe and they said that I should lessen or stop taking my medication all together. It's been very bad. I force food down and just end up throwing it up later (I make a point to do it outside or when people aren't home). I know I should stop taking my medication, but I worry about what will happen without it. I've always been sensitive about my weight and my mind keeps telling me that I'm going to look disgusting once I finish the first trimester and start putting on baby weight. Plus, with this weird thing my husband and T have started doing with M (Something called belly worship they read about on an online zine, could someone explain?) and of course that just adds to the billions of other things I worry about happening with me if they find out.

I just don't know what to do concerning the pregnancy and making my husband comfortable. Could I ask for more advice? You guys have been so sweet and helpful so far.
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