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Old 04-30-2014, 07:25 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GalaGirl View Post
I know for me, the LAST thing I want to be doing in post-sex cozy is relationship management talk about OTHER relationships. I rather be doing that when I'm emotionally prepared to go there, not when I'm wide open and and vulnerable.
I am the opposite. I have usually always had the best discussions about relationships, and life in general, while in bed with someone after fucking, or on a break in between fucking. My worst discussions about serious relationship issues were done over a cup of tea at the table.

So, while it may be for some that post-coital time is when people are feeling most vulnerable, it isn't that way for everyone. As I see it, Mags, he felt close to you and wanted to have a loving, honest discussion with you at that moment. I really don't see the fact that you'd just had sex as such a wrong move and something you need to focus on and turn into a big issue. I see your inner work in coming to terms with his interest on others as a more pressing need for you than making a big deal out of him having talked to you about Carla while in bed with you.
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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/

Last edited by nycindie; 04-30-2014 at 07:27 PM.
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