View Single Post
  #43  
Old 04-30-2014, 07:05 PM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 8,009
Default

No one was "jumping down anyone's throat" here. I certainly wasn't, and I didn't see anyone else doing anything except sharing their opinion. Opinions require judgments, or else they wouldn't be an opinion, so when someone comes here asking for opinions, they are essentially asking for the situation to be judged and conclusions made. Furthermore, there was no "venom" behind what I said. I was not being disrespectful and I didn't see anyone else being disrespectful. Discussions are allowed to get heated here, as that in itself should not be equated with disrespect - but if you want to know what is not allowed, read the Guidelines.

I am just an anonymous stranger on an internet forum who merely weighed in on the topic and asked someone who came here for answers why the answers they already got were not satisfactory. I basically said, "do you want the sugar-coated version that makes you feel like you're doing the right thing even when common sense tells you it is likely to backfire, or do you want us to tell you plainly how we see it?" If you read my posts and imagine my words being said in a calm soothing voice instead of imagining me as a harpy, maybe you won't choose to feel offended.

Cheating is always a hot topic on a poly board, and most polyfolk are against it, for obvious reasons, and there are very few successful poly arrangements that come out of cheating, but - as with most forums on the internet - we are not professionals and no one should be making life decisions or getting upset based on anything any of us have to say.

So, in reading responses to questions, take what resonates with you and ignore the rest, but having a meta-discussion (discussing the discussion) is basically off-topic and a waste of time and energy. So, if you continue here, best to keep it focused on the topic instead of scolding people for how they answer.
__________________
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/

Last edited by nycindie; 04-30-2014 at 07:09 PM.
Reply With Quote