Kevin, Thanks for responding to the question. That was largely missing from this discussion and I do appreciate having the input.
It seems I failed to fully clarify that my question was about experiences, and I was less interested in discussing the ethical question. As you said, that is a separate question. I'm sure it's worth discussing but probably not with me. I'm a moral relativist.
PaperGrace, thanks for sharing that link. That was worth reading. It seemed to end sadly, the part of the story that we got to see, but at the same time leaves it open to make up the next part of the story.
What is striking is the difference in attitude in the discussion of that thread compared to this one. The participants in that thread were kind, compassionate, and understanding. They said essentially the same thing people here said, only they said it with respect.
You (the plural you, the participants on this thread; I'm not singling anyone out) honor honesty. I honor respect. That isn't to say that one is higher than the other. It just creates different kinds of discourse.