Ginger wonders how we can get my heart to feel better around this, to get in line with the simple poly principles my head understands and endorses.
Here's one behavior I spot that could change to see if it helps or not.
We had our usual brief chat, followed by lengthy satisfying sex (maybe too lengthy for my back, but the rest of me enjoyed it).
As we lay in afterglow, he said, "Maybe it's time to talk about Carla."
That sounded awkward and like it led to some distancing later.
I know for me, the LAST thing I want to be doing in post-sex cozy is relationship management talk about OTHER relationships. I rather be doing that when I'm emotionally prepared to go there, not when I'm wide open and and vulnerable.
Sex can feel cozy and make people want to share stuff. But that has to be tempered by does the other person want to RECEIVE that data at that time/place?
Hang in there!