If the issue is explaining to someone else what/who I am-my answer is completely different than what I originally wrote, as I understood the original question.
In response to what to say to others:
I tell them, I live with my husband of 16 years, my boyfriend of 21 years and our kids.
I skip the "poly" term because most people don't know it anyway.
But-the descriptive opening sentence I use, leave them free to ask questions to clarify-without opening up the need for using a bunch of terms that people can't agree on definitions for.
"Love As Thou Wilt"