Originally Posted by Fidelia
Why do you feel you have no power or right to address the issue(s) involved? You may be the "third" but this is your relationship, too, and you have the right and responsibility to be fully engaged in it. To be alternately allowed in/ pushed out is not fair, and will eventually doom the relationship.
It seems to me that you need healing in this situation, too, and that need deserves respect and attention too.
I wish you and your others peace and joy, however this works out.
Ok so if you do not want the relationship doomed what do you in the case of a shutdown if you are a secondary partner?