View Single Post
Old 04-15-2010, 06:43 AM
SchrodingersCat's Avatar
SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Saskatchewan
Posts: 2,245

Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
But if we're "out and about" with Kelly-I don't introduce him as my ex to other people. Because he's my friend. I introduce him as who he is to me NOW.
I find that doing that helps concrete his role in my mind too-if I keep saying "ex" when I reference him-my mind thinks of the aspects of our dating relationship. When I keep saying FRIEND when I reference him-my mind thinks of the aspects of our FRIENDSHIP relationship.
That's a really good point, LR. Our minds are incredibly easy to reprogram, if we take the time and effort. I had never thought of it that way, but it makes perfect sense.

I don't refer to people as "my ex" either because it makes it seem like "ex" is some kind of relationship it its own right, and I don't think it is. If it's applicable, I'll say that we used to date or that he's a "previous boyfriend" (which seems different in my mind from "ex"). A part of me still loves everyone I've ever loved, although obviously the passion died away, and most of my previous lovers can still arouse "those" feelings inside of me, but then so does the cute girl in my thermo class, so that's no big deal :P
As I am sure any cat owner will be able to tell you,
someone else putting you in a box is entirely different
from getting into a box yourself.
Reply With Quote