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Old 04-28-2014, 10:09 PM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pennsyl-tucky
Posts: 1,327
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Thank you for your perspective.

Quote:
Originally Posted by icesong View Post
I'm not a terribly open person, in many ways - certainly if y'all knew me at all in real life we would NOT be having this conversation. ;-) And the sharing of bodies and... hearts? made revealing things about myself seem like an ordinary thing to do - things that I would have never revealed in another context. Like a conversation we (HipsterBoy and I) had last night about parenthood and the challenges thereof - which I told TheKnight about later under the heading of "and that was a thing that I'd only ever discuss with two people in the world, you and HipsterBoy". So that's one version of "we can't be JUST friends if not dating".
Ah - I am a fairly private person myself. But, once I let someone close enough to actually consider them my friend, they are ALL the way in. So those are the sorts of things that I would reveal to my friends - if I didn't trust them enough to have those conversations I wouldn't consider them my friend. (So, that equals 8 people in the world - INCLUDING my partners.)

Quote:
Originally Posted by icesong View Post
The other version is what happens when you take two people who would be, say, casual acquaintances - have fun together, have some amount of things in common, add "hormonal carbonation", to quote The PolyamorousMisanthrope, and enough time together and intensity to turn it into love while skipping the "dating" phase. That's pretty much what happened to Pink!Girl and TheKnight...and now they're trying to learn to be friends after the fact. Which is exactly as awkward as you would think.
Hmm...I don't really interact much with "casual acquaintances" - certainly would never spend enough time with them to "turn it into love". If I had the hots for a casual acquaintance then I would proposition them for NSA sex (i.e. fuckbuddy in my post above) and wouldn't be particularly interested in hanging out with them otherwise.

(As an introvert I don't really "get" spending time with anyone other than my "inner circle" - it's just too exhausting. I don't really like many people, so when I DO like them, chances are we hit it off right off the bat and rapidly become friends.)

All different styles...
__________________
Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" Vee-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (23+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (4+ yrs) and MrS's best friend
Lotus: poly bi married female, "it's complicated" relationships with Dude/JaneQ/MrS (1+ years)
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.


My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe

Last edited by JaneQSmythe; 04-28-2014 at 10:11 PM.
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