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Old 04-28-2014, 11:21 AM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is online now
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Metro West Massachusetts
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Schrodinger's Cat:
Quote:
You mentioned going through the NVC inventory together -- what did you come up with? My guess would be things under the connection and meaning categories (compassion, to matter, stability) -- does that fit?
From the needs list, the needs Ginger was no longer meeting for me with yet another new potential partner on his plate, were:

cooperation
communication
closeness
compassion
consideration
consistency
empathy
inclusion
mutuality
respect
security
stability
to be understood
trust
joy
humor
peace/harmony
competence
to matter

However, he has needs for these (which he finds by pursuing other relationships):

acceptance
sexual expression
joy
choice
freedom
independence
space
spontaneity
celebration of life
challenge
competence
discovery
growth
learning
self-expression
stimulation
inspiration

It's not that he is an out of control lecherous NRE junky, necessarily. Lust is there, but it's just a part of it. He really seems to like to get to know women, admire them, even worship the female deity within each, if you want to get spiritual about it.

I kept saying, with all these women coming through a sort of revolving door, I don't feel special. And he couldn't tell me I was special to him. Finally he did say I was important to him, and that fit for the kind of affirmation I needed.
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Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

me: Mags, 59, living with:
miss pixi, 37
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