You mentioned going through the NVC inventory together -- what did you come up with? My guess would be things under the connection and meaning categories (compassion, to matter, stability) -- does that fit?
From the needs list, the needs Ginger was no longer meeting for me with yet another new potential partner on his plate, were:
to be understood
However, he has needs for these (which he finds by pursuing other relationships):
celebration of life
It's not that he is an out of control lecherous NRE junky, necessarily. Lust is there, but it's just a part of it. He really seems to like to get to know women, admire them, even worship the female deity within each, if you want to get spiritual about it.
I kept saying, with all these women coming through a sort of revolving door, I don't feel special. And he couldn't tell me I was special to him. Finally he did say I was important to him, and that fit for the kind of affirmation I needed.