View Single Post
  #42  
Old 04-27-2014, 07:50 PM
LovingRadiance's Avatar
LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Alaska
Posts: 5,287
Default

Ok-so question OP,

Because I don't think anything is ever black and white.

Dan wants no dating during this 2 month period.

WHAT exactly does this mean?
Because *to me* no dating means "not going out on a date".
Which is vastly different than "no contact".

I think some very explicit, detailed explanation of the concrete actions he's asking for would be helpful (maybe for you as well if that hasn't been done).

If my partner asked me for no dating for two months during a very stressful time, I would have no issue, except maybe rolling my eyes that they had to ask, because they should know that if it's that stressful I'm going to minimize additional stress for ALL of us.
But no contact would be a no-go. I wouldn't agree to taking away my own support system during a stressful time.

AND

if it's stressful for one partner, it is stressful for the other almost by default. It may be stressful for a different reason, but it's still stressful.

It really sounds like there is a serious underlying issue going on that isn't clearly stated in this thread.

I DO think that changing the dynamic of a relationship isn't a "6 months and it's a go" thing when one partner isn't ready for the change. Either you go at the slowest persons pace or you terminate the relationship because it's currently incompatible.
But rushing forward is only a form of terminating the relationship (usually more dramatically with more fireworks and debris).
__________________
"Love As Thou Wilt"
Reply With Quote