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Old 04-26-2014, 10:37 PM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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In fact I also have a folder full of text drafts, and I start a new text file almost every time I start to write a new post. That way no matter what happens -- even if there's a power outage and my PC konks out -- I'll have most or all of the post I was writing because I save obsessively, probably once per sentence at least. When I finish composing the post, I select all and copy to the clipboard (Ctrl+A then Ctrl+C), then paste (Ctrl+V) to the post compose window on the website. No matter what goes wrong I then still have the post saved in the text file. More steps? Sure. But nobody likes to lose all the work you put into that would-be post you wanted to post. Why take any chances?

Re (from Svens):
Quote:
"Just wanted to say that I want to know if this kind of relationship dynamic could be reasonable in real life; I know in fiction everything is possible but I'd like to know if it would be realistic IRL, even if unusual, because the story I want to make up is about the same dynamic: two male best friends and a woman together *but* with the two bff being uninvolved sexually, but considering the relationship the guys from the TV show had I just question if this is even possible. Yet again, they might have as well been romantically/emotionally involved, is this even possible? I'm aromantic so kinda lost here."
Just reiterating what I said in my earlier post, but here it is, short and sweet: Yes, I believe the relationship dynamics you propose would be possible, realistic, and reasonable IRL. (In fact they might not even be as unusual as one would think.)

Re (from last post):
Quote:
"Ron says something's 'missing' when he's with the woman alone, without Cory with them, and that if one of the three leaves then the whole thing is broken, but why?"
Which reminds me of yet another movie, "A Small Circle of Friends" (1980). Coincidentally yet another MFM story, one of the two men gets killed, and as a result, the woman and the remaining man feel like they have to break up. It just doesn't work without that second man.

In the movie, the "Why" question is mostly answered just by the excellent way the actors play their parts. In written form, you need to engage the reader in that dynamic without the help of actors. Sometimes you can tell the story without answering the "Why" question, but you do have to address the question somehow. Perhaps leave little thoughts or clues that might help the reader answer the question on their own.

Sometimes I think that virtually every kink the mind can imagine has probably been embraced IRL somewhere. Maybe it's a "thing" (a "kink") for these two men to share this woman, so much so that they want to share her as up close and personal as possible. Doesn't even have to be a "physical kink," can be an "emotional kink" (even though it concerns sex which is physical).

You could use that explanation in your story, but don't be too quick to use it. It's your story, your creation; you are the author. I don't know about you but I'd feel kind of funny writing your story for you. This is what the creative process is all about, is forumulating your own answers to the "Why" questions. It is the test of your skill as a writer and an opportunity to level up as a writer using the tool of experience. You could use my explanation (in the above paragraph) as a demonstration that answers to the question "Why" do exist. I only offer up one answer as an example. See what you can come up with if you run with that bit.

I should probably point out that however you choose to address the "Why," you're generally dealing with a society that's programmed to think monogamously. Polyamory isn't a concept that most people hear about, especially as kids. So some kind of a thing for sharing might lie below the surface, and yet both men might be unaware of that thing at first, due to how foreign it is to monogamous thinking. They would have to have some kind of an "aha" moment where they discovered that repressed part of their subconscious.

Re:
Quote:
"I want my two male characters to love each other only emotionally, even romantically is fine just not sexually, and that being the reason why they want the other to be in this relationship. So what I'm asking is, would this be feasible for a poly relationship IRL?"
Yes, I believe it would be. And by the way, it sounds like you have the beginnings of your own answer to their "Why." It's emotional and it's romantic. Run with that. Flesh it out, little by little.

In your thread here, I hear you expressing a fear that you won't be able to tell this story, and yet in the same breath you seem to be telling the story (convincingly enough) right here in this thread. Seems to me you just need a bit more writer's confidence. The skills and the ideas are already present.

Re:
Quote:
"I'm a guy but I'm not straight or sexual or poly so how would I know ..."
See? You're unwittingly second-guessing yourself. "But, but, I'm not qualified to know the reasons why these guys would have this relationship ..." Being a writer is all about exercising the imagination to put yourself inside the minds of each of your fictional characters. You are qualified, because you're the author!

I mean yeah, definitely read and interact on a lot of the threads here on Polyamory.com; learn as much as you can about what poly is all about -- what pitfalls and what rewards are common. But at the end of the day, have the faith you need in your own abilities to tell this story. The abilities are there.

Re:
Quote:
"I'll probably make a fanvideo about this relationship of the show and I'll upload it to youtube in a few days so if anyone was interested I could share the link here so that you guys saw for yourselves what the relationship dynamics I am talking about is like."
Sure, share the link; I'll watch the video. I'll need those subtitles though!

Re:
Quote:
"They are not just friends, or the partner's partner, they are all three together in a relationship, it's just that two of the members don't have sex with each other. If it's not metamour then what is this then?"
Still metamours, I should think, but with some qualifying adjective. Loving metamours? Multimours? If this was "Stranger in a Strange Land," we could call them water brothers.

Come on man! Tap into your writer's creativity, and think up a good word for these two men. Part of the plot in the story could be the problem of them trying to think of what to call themselves. There could be a scene where they have a conversation about it.

Which makes me think that these two men and this one woman must be concerned about "doing it right" and are probably researching polyamory on the web. There could be scenes where they are talking to each other about what they are learning, or where one character peeks over another character's shoulder while that other character studies a particular web page.

By the way, there's a thing called "relationship anarchy" in which people hardly use any special labels at all. Like, the only label they like to use for anyone in their life is a "friend." The details of anyone's relationship with any one "friend" of theirs need not be mentioned in their label, they can just talk about the details on the details' own merits when the need arises.

That doesn't tell you what labels *you* (or your characters) should use, it just casts a different light on the subject.

The best piano teacher I ever had, used to tell me, whenever we'd talk about composing new songs, that it's like it says in the Old Testament: There's nothing new under the Sun. Every composer obtains inspiration from the musical ideas of previous composers, and all artists "steal" each other's ideas to a certain extent. Heck, a scientist, too, builds on the theories that have already been formulated by previous scientists. We all borrow ideas. It's actually part of the creative process. Making something new out of something that has come before. So watch those movies I mentioned, be inspired by them, and use that inspiration to add new ideas as you tell your own story and make it your own.

Regards,
Kevin T.
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