Originally Posted by Ariakas
I personally had to learn to like
woman. This for me was huge as I was that arrogant ass that used to believe I couldn't be friends with women I was sexually attracted to (come on I was a horny 17 to 22 year old
). This was a good transition for me and has allowed me to build this last part. I have a lot of female friends. Of all types. I listen and talk to them which does a lot to help my self esteem.
I feel this very keenly. I think I have a tendency to be distant with women to prevent myself from even thinking of them as potential love interests. My theory is that this was a self-defense mechanism I developed to keep myself committed to my GF. It's hard but I'm starting to disassemble that wall. I want to get to a place where I can have lots of women friends and still feel confident in my commitment to my GF, and from that place I can start to consider additional lovers.
A minor annoyance that I've had is that earlier on in my relationship with my GF we figured out that we wanted to try a threesome with another man. I was turned on by the idea, and so was she at the time, so I asked my best friend to help us out and he agreed. Now I have a fantasy of a threesome with two women (I think many men share this fantasy), but my partner has been shy about asking her friends or being proactive about it. I suppose it's irritating because it feels like she isn't considering my desires the same way I considered hers.
And ALSO just to throw in another twist I have recently started to question my own sexual orientation. I always assumed that I was totally straight---I've never had any homosexual experiences or pursued them in any way. But recently I have come to terms with the idea that I am at least partially bisexual. I don't know what to do about this either. It feels bad to just sit on these impulses and not act, but I am so nervous about even coming out to my gay friends!
Life! So complicated!