Originally Posted by Inyourendo
When my ex husband and I separated I made it clear i wasn't interested in hearing about or meeting anyone that he was casually dating. Is that something you can do? Can he honor that?
Well, thing is, Ginger and I are not separated. I can see not wanting to hear much about one's ex's new love interests, but Ginger and I are emotionally intimate. I did say in my OP that he is thinking he should tell me less about Carla and his interactions. Trouble is, then my imagination will go wild, imagining they are at stage X when they are really at stage Y. Or thinking he is bored when he really got done shagging her.
Don't ask don't tell seems so sad and isolating. But maybe I need to not know. Maybe I need to tap into my submissive side and tell myself, Master can do what he wants. When he is with me he is 100% into me. What he does when we are not together is none of my goddam business.
I sure do not want to spend 75% of our time together (face to face or in our IM chats throughout the day) talking about Carla and her husband and kids and where she went that day.
What about events though? Do I need to stop going to drum circles because SHE will be there? Would it be good for me to witness their yearning and lust? Is that HER realm now and closed to me?
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
Mags, F, 60, poly-dating, loving and living with
miss pixi, F, 38
Punk, 41, M (dating since Oct 2015)
and a few more casual relationships