I'm sorry you are struggling.
Originally Posted by Magdlyn
I guess I think Ginger is too polysaturated. He doesn't think he is. He is having a hard time understanding that a poly person is polysaturated when they start missing out on meeting the needs of one of their established lovers. He is attentive to me, but my need for stability and balance and feeling understood is way off.
He thinks he isn't polysaturated, you think he is.
Could sidestepping that whole thing and focussing more on your needs rather than his "polysaturated-ness" yield more productive conversation? For instance...
- Is he aware that your needs for stability, balance, and being understood are not being met?
- Can he repeat back what he understands your needs are accurately to you?
- Can he repeat back what you would like in his behavior to help meet those needs?
Originally Posted by GreenAcres
The upshot is that it's likely you'll just have to be very, very direct and blunt, which is what most Asperger's folks find the most comfortable form of communication.
I agree. That's also been my experience with Asperger folks.