Thank to everyone for your input, it has been helpful! I am very flexible to creating your own rules within any relationship. It just got to a point that between this long term complication and a few people's comments I was beginning to believe I was being completely unreasonable. Like with any situation I feel that the truth and resolution always lies somewhere in the middle of the details.
I have spent a lot of time looking back on the open relationships I have had a realizing what worked and why. Also I have discovered what doesn't work...for me. I completely agree that there is no wright or wrong, just what works best for the individuals as an independent person and as part of the relationship.