Sounds like a balancing act
My wife has a very good friend for many years now. In the past year or so I have become more involved with this woman and her kids. They come over for dinner I have gotten to know her really well.
My wife is quite taken with her. Not really in a sexual way but there is a clear emotional bond.
I have started to pick up a bond with her as well and she has become a very dear friend that I do care deeply about and some how I have bonded with her kids in a semi-fatherly way (maybe more of a cool uncle way).
Well my wife broke the friends barrier the other day when she suggested that we all go to a swingers club. Nervous as hell (it was our first time) but we all talked and had a good time watching people then we all got together with an audience and put on quite a good show.
The next day we all lounged around the house together being frindly and it was quite clear that things had changed and that night of sex was not going to be a one time thing.
Talk has started of everyone living under one roof. Now my first reaction was "Woo hoo!" but then reality set in and I started to consider all the ramifications. Of course the kids... That was the first concern... How will they deal with it if my role changes from less of an uncle role to more of a fatherly role?
Then I also got concerned about how do I balance feelings for each woman. I don't think it is possible to love two people the same. Hell, I had 4 kids of my own and although I love them each with all my heart I love them each differently and show that love differnetly and they each get more or less attention at differnt times.
So I see that being an issue or a possible issue if we are all living under one roof. I can see my love for my wife staying strong and not faltering but I will no longer be able to give full attention to her as I give some attention to this other woman. And as time passes, I would feel more comfortable showing more and more affection to the other woman.
I guess I am mainly looking for any tips or things to watch out for as we start down this road. Signs I should be looking for that something may be out of balance. I don't want anyone to ever feel left out or pushed aside so I hope to see signs of trouble as early as possible so things don't get out of control.
Thanks for any thoughts you can provide. This is going to be interesting as it unfolds.