I do need someone to talk with.
I do need someone to connect with (more than one or two actually).
I do need cuddle time.
I do need affection.
I do need mad passionate sex.
I LONG for at least some of those things to be with Maca. I LONG for at least some of those things to be with GG.
I do get that we all need that RP.
for our relationships to work the relationships need to include some of these things.
BUT-as much as you "need" your two nights a week with Mono-if he died (God forbid) you would go on yes? So that need isn't so much that you NEED MONO for your life-you NEED that attention AND you prefer it from him.
I am a big believer that it's IMPERATIVE that we word things in such a way that we are not releasing our own ability to control, fulfil, fix those issues.
When we use words lightly-we tend to "trick our brains".
I don't NEED electricity in my home.
I WANT electricity in my home.
But it wouldn't kill me if it weren't there.
I'm NOT in anyway suggesting that the poster is incorrect in that in order for that relationship to be meaningful that affection is needed. THAT I think is VERY valid.
I'm only saying that IF that person were gone-you would find another way to fulfil the need for that affection (if you are healthy).
I think it's just that in general we misuse words in an attempt to simplify our communication. But in truth when we do this we complicate our communication-especially with ourselves.
Maca was saying last night, "I am bummed that I fucked up one time and BECAUSE everyone remembers your mistakes more than your accomplishments I have to rebuild ALL the effort I made to get here."
The truth would be as follows, "I am bummed that I fucked up one time, that means I need to rebuild everything I had made to get here." The fact that people remember your errors really has NOTHING to do with why he has to rebuild. It's a superflous fact.
Anyway-no disrespect intended when I commented on my thoughts on need.