I've retained some level of friendship with every ex I have. I hold no animosity for ANY of them.
The most difficult transition (for me) I did as schroedinger suggested-except that I sent a card for their birthday, fathers day, christmas.
I do that for my friends-so I did it for this person. I didn't call, I didn't go hang out.
The easiest ones-well they are easy so it needs no explanation yes?
The hardest thing for me has been explainging to NEW partners that when I say, "this is my friend Kelly" I am not being decietful. YES Kelly is my exboyfriend. YES we spent damn near 4 years together. BUT NOW Kelly is my friend. Period.
Now-don't get me wrong, I make sure from the get go that the partner knows who this person is in full-neither Maca or GG were EVER unaware that Kelly was my ex-boyfriend.
But if we're "out and about" with Kelly-I don't introduce him as my ex to other people. Because he's my friend. I introduce him as who he is to me NOW.
I find that doing that helps concrete his role in my mind too-if I keep saying "ex" when I reference him-my mind thinks of the aspects of our dating relationship. When I keep saying FRIEND when I reference him-my mind thinks of the aspects of our FRIENDSHIP relationship.
"Love As Thou Wilt"