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Old 04-22-2014, 12:13 PM
london london is offline
Join Date: May 2013
Location: UK - land of the free
Posts: 1,635

Originally Posted by KC43 View Post
I agree with this. My point wasn't so much that the counselor should *feel* objective as that if they aren't able to be objective in their mind, they should at least keep their negative, non-objective reaction to themselves in the interests of being supportive of their client. If they feel the client is doing something detrimental, they could phrase it in terms of the client rather than judging the concept as a whole; saying "Are you sure that type of relationship is the best choice for you?" gets the point across without sounding as harsh and judgy as "Polyamory never works, you're going to have a horrible time, what are you thinking?"

ETA: London, that's also a very good point, but if Jade's counselor actually said "Polyamory never works", it's a bit different situation to the counselor saying "I don't think polyamory would work for you."
When you're in that bad place I referred to in the example, "I don't think polyamory would work for you" sounds exactly like "polyamory never works".

Some people in this forum aren't even in a bad place, relatively speaking, yet "the way you're doing this probably won't work" still sounds like "what you're trying to achieve never works".
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