Thread: Wide Awake
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Old 04-21-2014, 01:23 AM
FullofLove1052 FullofLove1052 is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: English Rose by birth; Calling the Southern Hemi home by choice.
Posts: 915

I generally have an aversion to holidays. I am learning to make a big to do about them because of my children and their insistence. If I had my way, we would be tucked away at a resort in the middle of the ocean with limited to no cell coverage, WiFi in the room only, spa treatments, plenty of sunshine, white sandy beaches, and fruity cocktails. I could skip most holidays and be happy. (I think I need to check out Luxury Lodges of Australia and New Zealand for my next weekend getaway.)

I have definitely been doing that. I have been double and triple checking myself and my overall state of mind. I question everything I do and say and if they are emotionally driven decisions or not. It is best to keep my emotions and feelings compartmentalised and separate from the rational and logical side of my brain when it comes to her. I can just see myself falling into the rabbit hole again. I am not one who thrives off dysfunctional, unhealthy relationships, but some people love them and love even more fiercely while in one. I can forgive and agree not to bring it up, but I cannot forget what happened. I am going to keep myself in check, though. I think I will use my blog as a way to work out these thoughts and feelings. If I was still in therapy, I could devote some of the time to discussing this matter, but that is not an option.

Everything is going well. Thank you. We found out the date on Thursday. I was not expecting it to be so soon. I just knew we would have 60-90 days or something. Fingers crossed over here, too.

I hope everything is going well with Snowbunny and your brother-husband.
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