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Old 04-20-2014, 07:26 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
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Originally Posted by Ashley612 View Post
I am not "clingy", but I am intense and passionate.
To clarify what I wrote earlier, I did not unequivocally state that YOU are clingy.

I said that, during the first two weeks of MY dating someone, if he was as focused on me as you are on this guy, showed disappointment by not seeing as much enthusiasm as he expected from me, and then confronted me by saying he felt "strung along" because I hadn't made enough of an effort to see him within that extremely short amount of time, I would see HIM as clingy.

There is a difference between how I worded that and pronouncing judgment on you. I was simply illustrating for you what my reaction would be, because I am a person who likes some distance in relationships and values my alone time. I dislike feeling pressured and I find it puzzling that anyone would have such high expectations for someone they just started seeing and barely knew - and I say this as someone who married my husband after only knowing him five months!

So, while I was very excited in the first few weeks about my budding relationship with the man I eventually married, I still didn't have such heavy expectations about where it would go at that early stage. I was still seeing other people and so was he, and I simply appreciated those times when it worked for us to get together. I did not make demands on him, and he found that attractive and voluntarily wanted to spend more time with me because he liked how easy-going I was. Things came together for us after about three months, and we just decided to move in together and get married without a long engagement.

So, I do understand when something is intensely passionate and feels really right! But I think one needs to keep their feet on the ground and look at things logically. Two weeks is no time at all.

Basically, my saying that perhaps someone might see your actions and approach as too needy and clingy, I was offering you a perspective you may not have considered, as a possibility that perhaps this guy is similar to me when it comes to developing a relationship.
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