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Old 04-20-2014, 01:22 PM
vanquish vanquish is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Montgomery, AL
Posts: 303

Originally Posted by Ashley612 View Post
Not sure how to answer this without sounding defensive. The "change" was at first he was all crazy gangbusters and then it changed extremely in a short amount of time. I am not "clingy", but I am intense and passionate. Just don't like mixed signals.

Quite frankly, some of the responses I've really appreciate giving me some insight. This is all very new to me. Other seem very judgemental, and not very much making a newbie like me to want to participate further in this forum. Hopefully i get less judgement being a lurker.
Ashley, no one here is trying to be hurtful. When emotional issues get discussed, emotional terminology is used. Hearing things like "needy" and "puppy love" can seem rough, but youre getting an objective viewpoint from people who are taking their time and energy and brainpower to help.

Ive said it before and ill say it again. One of the main adjustments a newly poly person has to make is learning not to invest more emotion than they can handle losing.In other words, being able to be self-contained and self-reliant if they dont get the response they want back. That may dash some people's ideas of a whirlwind romantic love where you give all of yourself to someone, but that's how you dont get hurt.

The criticial piece of data that everyone seems to be keying off of is the two week relationship duration. Can you agree that in the grand scheme of things this is really, really short? In one sense, no matter how short, everyone is due decent behavior from the person they are dating. No doubt. But on a realistic basis, in a big, bad world, where people do crappy things, you have to be prepared for someone youve only known for two weeks to possibly turn out to be a jerk.

The best movie in the world for someone in your situation is Swingers. It doesnt match how you got in your situation, but it does help you laugh at how to deal with it.

Hope things get better.
Me - male, 42, poly, straight, in a serious relationship with Audrey, also casually dating.

Audrey - female, 20, poly, pansexual, also casually dating.
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