When polyamory is working!!!
Polyamory- my story after 4 years in the lifestyle.
I am polyamorous for two main reasons.
1- monogamous relationships make me feel trapped.
2- I'm bisexual so monogamy doesn't work for me considering that when I have chosen a mono partner of one gender, the other part of myself has to go unsatisfied.
So- after 4 years of being full committed to the poly lifestyle, I am so realizing the great advantages and I want to share them with you.
Last weekend, I was able to spend a lot of time with my two guys- Richard and Lee. And it was awesome to see them getting to know one another better too!
Not only that, but I had dated an awesome lesbian (Brenda) for a short time three years ago and we have started seeing each other again.
As I look back at my thoughts, feelings and behaviors towards her, I realize that I was totally trying to control things and I wanted her to fit into my idea of what my poly social life should look like.
She expressed that she accepted my poly lifestyle and that she felt more comfortable with a DADT situation with me and that she would prefer to be kept in her own compartment within my life- without a desire to intermingle socially with my other partner(s).
At the time, this was not acceptable to me because I had a vision of what life would be like for me as a poly person. And in that vision, all of the people that I am serious about would know one another and would like to become a sort of community.
I still hold that vision, but now I know that maybe my vision has some room for expansion and growth. Maybe I can't come up with a perfect scenario for myself and my partners in terms of how we will all interact socially.
I have started seeing her again because I realize that she excites me and I enjoy her company. I enjoy talking with her and being with her. I like the way she responds to me and she seems to enjoy the way that I respond to her. I am physically attracted to her and she is attracted to me also!
We are taking it slow.....really slow and it feels right!
At the same time, Richard is seeing two different women outside of our relationship and I did have the opportunity to meet one of them and get to know her better!
Other people in the lifestyle talk to us about guilt and jealousy but we haven't really dealt with either of those emotions very much at all.
For us, it just seems to be that this lifestyle is natural. We get it. It makes sense to us. We made the decision to walk away from all cultural norms and now we are figuring out how we will proceed and making sure we are open to adaptation while we go!!!
This is really working for us! It requires an authentic commitment to the lifestyle and everything it stands for. I hope everyone reading has been able to have as much enjoyment and fulfillment as we have had!
The key to life is in being fully engaged and peacefully detached simultaneously and authentically in each moment.