Originally Posted by Blonde7915
But then he has no reason to have understanding it is not something that has interested him.
Well, no reason except it's something his wife is passionate about and even attempting to understand it would show her that he's at least interested in making an effort.
Gralson's biggest kink is anal fisting. I will never fully "understand" it because I'm just not wired to enjoy the feeling of my butt being stretched out that big. But learning about it, how to do it safely, what other people enjoy about it, what they get from it, and in general just trying to understand as much as I am
able to, has gone a long way towards him feeling comfortable discussing and sharing it with me. More than anything, it's shown him that even if I don't understand the appeal, I accept it and don't judge him for it, as it's always been a source of shame for him.
So to that end, I think it would be helpful for your husband to independently and/or with you, learn about spanking, and try to gain as much understanding as he's capable of. He doesn't have to "fully" understand it to "intellectually" understand it. Some introductory reading suggestions: Screw the Roses, Send me the Thorns
and The Loving Dominant
. TLD probably does a better job of explaining the part your husband doesn't understand. I enjoyed Screw the Roses for what it is, but a lot of people take objection to it, so you might want to read it first and make sure it's inline with what you feel. Warning: they're both heteronormative, which probably isn't an issue for the OP, but may irritate other readers.