I don't want to hold back his journey. I don't want him doing something he is continuing to say even as we are on the phone now that he doesn't want to do just so he can stay sane and be with me. As I love two men I know that when things go sour between my fiance and I, my boyfriend can not help me with the loneliness I feel from the emotional distance between my fiance and I because I need emotional closeness from my fiance. And when (which is every day all day) that I miss my boyfriend terribly and just wish he was there to wrap my arms around, my fiance's embraces do not make it go away. It doesn't even soothe me a little because I need my boyfriend's arms in that moment. It's really hard for me to stomach the idea of my boyfriend trying to get something (his need for more time with me) that he's not going to get from someone else (time with me) and sitting back and supporting something that I see as very destructive for him and in turn destructive to our relationship. And the issue I'm having is I've heard the " I don't want to, but I'm scared I'll have to" off and on for seven months now. So him going poly... it's hard to imagine it any other way than something he didn't want to have to do. Does this make sense?
BTW, I also want to point out that this is a fear of his about once he actually moves down here, which hopefully should be in the next couple of months. It's hypothetical but it's one that has been going on for a long time and it's creating a few waves for everyone's boats.
Basically right now, I see the pain that he has from being so far away. He fears this pain will continue once he is here and he will have to do something he doesn't want to do in order to be with me. I don't see this as being healthy for him and maybe he shouldn't be in a relationship with me but he refuses to accept it (hypothetically because we don't know yet.) Wouldn't it be the right thing for me to do to release him where he can heal and move on and have a healthy relationship if this were to happen? Maybe we could salvage our friendship before he takes an unhealthy spiral that will (I feel and hypothetically) take alot of people with him?
Last edited by Ilove2men; 04-14-2010 at 01:07 AM.