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Old 04-14-2010, 12:44 AM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: In Redpepper's heart
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Originally Posted by Ilove2men View Post
Okay.... So I'm going to put the response I get every time I ask if he is poly.

"I know I'm capable of it, but don't want that. If I have to be to keep you then I will."
This is not something that I haven't considered in the past. In all honesty it was not about the idea of giving more people love though. It was about diluting the love I have for Redpepper and taking away the special nature of sex to me. Essentially I thought, if I'm fucking another woman than it won't be a big deal that she is fucking other guys. I saw it as a way to take the sting out of the idea that she had other lovers and would have more. It would have been a way to limit what I could offer her. We would never have come this far if I had of tried that as a coping method...and still those thoughts can creep back into my mind from time to time during times of doubt.

There are times, especially when questioned by my friends, that I feel a certain embarrassment at being exclusive with Redpepper. If I were to say I was just fucking her it would be fine and accepted with ease, but to say I actually love her and am committed monogamously to someone who has sex with other men, creates an interesting look in their eyes. It is a look of I'm an idiot. Don't get me wrong I would probably do the same thing if the roles were reversed and I didn't have the knowledge I have now. If I had other partners they would understand and be more accepting for sure..they have said as much.

So perhaps this might be some of his motivations? Perhaps not.
Maybe he is poly and you won't be able to give him enough of yourself so he will need to find someone else to supplements his need for time, intimacy and sex. Regardless, it seems a little unbalanced to hold back one persons journey because another person's journey hasn't finished. Rarely do we get to work on one thing at a time, and trust me I am a huge fan of that LOL! It's just not that feasible.

Playing the Game of Life with Monopoly rules.
Monogamy might just be in my genes

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