I don't think my relationship rules are specific either to poly or lovers, but apply to all of my relationships.
1. Emotional maturity. You are responsible for how you feel; not me. I will gladly help anyone work through an issue, but I won't help you wallow in it.
2. Honesty. Authenticity. Without it, there is only a facade of a relationship. Does that mean a new friend needs to tell me about all of his / her skeletons right away? Absolutely not. And maybe not ever. Just that what you do decide to share is honest.
3. Respect for thoughts, feelings, aspirations whether or not you agree or can relate to them. I will do the same.
4. The simple willingness to try to achieve mutual understanding - even if we ultimately disagree.
-Me: 51, female, relationship anarchist
-The Philosopher: semi-LDR, 44, male - my intellectual twin; relationship anarchist.
-Intellectual Elf, 27, female, the Philosopher's LDR
-Polkadot, 36, dating the Philosopher
-Wiseman, 68, male, solo-poly, my budding LDR