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Old 04-11-2014, 12:47 AM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is online now
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Metro West Massachusetts
Posts: 3,486

How long did you know M (can we get nicknames instead of initials) before marrying him? Why do you live in a tiny apt?

Seems to me you thought you'd be compatible when you were long distance, but the poly bomb, tiny flat and unfortunately falling for D have fucked things up.

You could put D on hold for a while. Sometimes too many outside stressors can make trying to manage 2 relationships seem almost impossible. Could you get some couples counseling with M? Could you move into a bigger flat/house? Maybe you like escaping to D's place because you're overcrowded with M?

I feel kinda bad for M, since you dropped the poly bomb on him, while you were engaged, before you were married, then fell in love with someone else (NRE explosion) a month after the wedding, then didnt move in together until Feb, and now you're too crowded. That is a fuck of a lot to deal with! I think since you were committed to M first, you owe him the consideration of giving him time to adjust to poly. A slower pace. But if you want an even faster pace, more dates with D, sleepovers, maybe you would be better off breaking up with M so he doesnt have to keep suffering.
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

me: Mags, 58, living with:
miss pixi, 37, who is dating (NRE):
Master, 32

Last edited by Magdlyn; 04-11-2014 at 12:49 AM.
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