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Old 04-09-2014, 09:57 PM
islandgy9 islandgy9 is offline
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Inyourendo, *I truly believe I am the only person, other than each other that T&J have sex with so I feel 'safe' regarding Std's. * I've had a few casual relationships over the last few years and always used condomswith these relationships *when having sex with them.

Not quite sure what you meant by : "But either way ahe (she) does realize that even with a condom there will still be skin to skin right? "*
By this you mean caressing, kissing & all the other lovely kinds of contact.... Correct?

Thank you for your thoughts London. *I do think it is more the exclusivity she feels she 'needs'. *
Mutual std testing could help satisfy the health risk issue.

nycindie : *I agree to a point, but as AlwaysGrowing identified, L has made huge strides in adjusting her way of thinking. *I don't consider myself and my poly way of thinking 'easy'. * I am patient with L and do my best to reassure her when she has trouble understanding.... Ok, *she freaks out sometimes but always rides out her internal storm and we continue forward.
I have made some concessions willingly for the good of L's and my relationship. *I have no regrets about the decisions I have made. *
It wouldn't kill me, ... rather, *I would use condoms with T&J with the caveat that L and I *re-address the issue in the future. *
I believe being in a poly relationship is asking a lot of a mono person. *Yes, *there is always individual choice, *they don't have to stay with us. *But our lives would be so much less without them that some concessions *prove worthwhile. *Then again, some lines can not be crossed, and there lies the choice.

By the way Natja, *this is out of context a bit but L does acquire 'flaming cheeks' of another sort when her occasional extremely over Zealous *imagination sets her version of a monogamonster loose.... * I wouldn't have believed 'taking in hand' redirection was anything short of abuse. *However it has proven to refocus her on the issue at hand... So to speak ... and productively communicate vs. having her internal fear thoughts control her. *
It was her idea.*
The difference between that and abuse is the love that's behind it, a different kind of love. *It is 'loving differently'. * *
Sorry if I derailed my own thread.
Thank you for your thoughts, once again you loving people have helped.
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