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Old 04-13-2010, 10:47 PM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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LR - I thought that GF and I were on our way to becoming friends, but her constant pushing and demanding to meet his friends and family isn't going to allow for that. I understand that it is something she wants to happen - but for her to demand it to happen at this point in time is ridiculous and disrespectful.
Kat-see my highlighted words please.

NO ONE has a right to DEMAND friendship. That is just absurd.
IF she wants to be introduced as a friend of the family she needs to BE a friend of the family.

It sounds like she wants the "1st place prize" without training for the race much less winning.

Quote:
What is also frustrating is that GF has outright said that she would NEVER be ok with my husband having another GF
EEEEKKKKKKK....
That is a DANGEROUS stand in her position!
Now-don't get me wrong, Mono has been quite clear that for him to be RP's boyfriend there are limitations on her having ADDITIONAL boyfriends. I get that. BUT-it's REALLY important to make sure that whatever your criteria are, they are "do-able" for the other person before you get into the relationship too deep.

Now-personally, I don't foresee myself needing another boyfriend. I have maca, I have GG I'm in love with each other them and that's good.
BUT I also don't deny that I AM BI and that means that I can't say I would NEVER want a woman... I don't right now.

The thing is for me-as I said to Maca (again) last night, whoever draws the line in the sand loses. (I added for him, I sure hope you don't draw it). Because in my life-if someone says "you can't have that person in your life" the speaker is the one to go.......
I can handle "I don't care for that person and feel you should look at these aspects. I would prefer they not be here."
AND
usually I will do something about it.
But to TELL ME who I can have in my life (I'm not talking about S.O per se, just in my life) yeah-I don't think so.

Quote:
But thanks LR for your understanding and support - even though you wouldn't have a problem with it - you are open enough to understand why I would.
Yes, yes I can. Because it's a no-brainer. You are being mature about TRYING to deal with something that you never wanted for your life. That is HUGE. You deserve respect for that. SHE wants to be in a poly relationship..... you didn't.
It's a no-brainer.
I didn't want to have stepchildren-I chose to have them, but didn't want them. I expect some grace in learning to be a great mother to them (actually there is only one). I DID become a GREAT mother to him-because of patience and time.
But someone who says "I want to be a stepmother" and then has a temper tantrum about the possibility of their child having a step-parent-THAT is a hypocrit.

SHE is a SECOND S.O. to this man BY CHOICE-therefore she needs to show some RESPECT for the fact that SHE chose this, you did not.

Don't get me wrong-I can go on and on and on about respect on all sides-in fact have been with Maca all freaking weekend. BUT-it DOES have to go all the way around. The "third" does NOT get to be disrespectful all the while whining and demanding to get their way. That is NOT how it will WORK. All about WORK and FUNCTIONAL and her method-I repeat, is neither.

And-I agree with Mon-with my poly brain.
Course I OFTEN agree with Mon in spite of my poly brain!
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