Warning - background bitchfest commencing.
I really am all over the place with my siblings. They invited me to a group chat this morning and I interjected silliness every now and then while they insulted each other and made plans to get drunk tomorrow. So, kinda good, I guess?
Later, I took my daughter driving - she recently got her learner's permit - and I posted a pic of her before we started her lesson. My brother made a comment almost immediately about how I wouldn't let my mom drive my van while she was living with me. Sigh. This is complete and total crap and the accusation that I did anything but the best for my parents fills me with such...rage and exasperation and defeat that I want to just cry.
My parents lived with me for 3 years, because my father was and still is very ill. They have no savings and little to no money. While they were on ther own, I would help them out financially so DarkKnight agreed that it would be easier to assist them if they lived with us. We relocated to a house that would accommodate them, and boom - after a couple of months my father totaled their vehicle. At the time, I offered to buy them a car - 100% paid for - but my mom declined because she didn't want my dad driving any more. My husband and I have been sharing my van as the only vehicle in our household for quite a long while, and every day I would take him to work, then pick up my father and take him to his appointments. During this time frame, his physical and mental health was deteriorating - he had several appointments a week that took hours of my life up, followed by trips to the pharmacy or moving his records between doctors. A few times I had to have him committed to an institution. My father would lie to my mother about his condition and his medications, so I had to be a go between there too.
Let's see - manic depression, schizophrenia, diabetes, COPD and use of a mobility scooter. He caught his FACE on fire a couple of times because he refused to stop smoking, even though he used oxygen tubes to breathe 100% of the time. Suicide attempts. Hallucinations. Insomnia.
During this time, I was homeschooling, so I also had to take my daughter to her activities and events. What was terrible was that at least every other day I was treated to the lovely assertion that I wasn't teaching lessons correctly, or that I needed to have my daughter learn about current events on FOX news.
Yeah, so my entire life was turned upside down by having my parents live with me.
Every single day - EVERY SINGLE DAY - I would ask my mom if she needed to go anywhere, or if she wanted to go watch my daughter do whatever she had going on. She declined 9 out of 10 times.
During this time, DarkKnight was disrespected and bad mouthed by my mother CONSTANTLY. How he managed to keep it together without flipping out was a source of amazement to me. My mother is extremely Catholic, and in her opinion, my divorce isn't valid and she still wants me to get back wih my ex husband.
All this, and we were covering most of their expenses. My father needed new dentures and both of my siblings flatly refused to contribute. It was a matter of constant pain for my dad, and over several months he lost 30 pounds. Thankfully we were able to work out financing.
We relocated from NY to Maryland, and after a year my parents went back to NY.
My husband had had enough and together we gave them 8 months to save money and move out. They saved NOTHING in that time frame, in spite of paying no rent. We drained our savings to get them relocated, and they now live in a rent adjusted apartment near my brother and sister. I am quite sure you can guess how much attention and assistance they are receiving from my siblings.
Hinge in a poly-fi vee with two mono men
Wife to DarkKnight
Girlfriend to PunkRockAwesomesauce