Man, you have had some awesomely good luck in forming such a loving poly family with so few ruffles along the way. I'm in a V but it took us several years to stop having fights and drama. Before ever becoming a V, it was just me confessing to having fallen in love with a woman married to another man. A year of research by her and long discussions between her and her husband eventually resulted in his willingness to give poly a try. We have slowly figured out how to do it since then.
You can get more info on my story in the blog
I've been keeping on this site, if you're interested. I'm always willing to answer questions, and you can find others' poly stories on the blog board
Polyamory is truly a labor of love, well worth the effort but requiring faith and patience. That's been my experience anyway.