Originally Posted by rdpeete
I'm not missing the point at all; however you've jumped to a conclusion with any questioning whatsoever. I'm not just going to jump on the 1st trans woman that shows interest. Of course, the inside is more important to me than the outside.
I'm not jumping to conclusions without questioning. I did question, you didn't answer. I'll repeat: What is your non-objectifying reason for seeking a trans woman such that it is not an example of tokenism?
By your logic, any other person that is looking for a mate of a specific gender is "gross". If you'd just simply ask rather than charge at me on your high horse, you would've figure that out... And for the record, I am simultaneously seeking cis gendered mates, but didn't say because it's not entirely relevant to the conversation.
"Trans female" is not a gender. The gender of a trans woman is female. Her biological sex is male. "Trans" means that her gender does not align with her biological sex.
Looking for a mate of a certain gender, be it female or male or genderqueer, is not gross; that's called orientation.
Looking for a mate of a certain sex, be it female or male or intersex, is also not gross; that's called sexual orientation.
Now, it is possible for a person's sexual orientation and gender orientation to not line up. Rare, but possible. In that case, you might only be attracted to female genders and male sexes. I've never actually heard of this, but I suppose it's possible. However, it does not describe you, because you have a wife (presumably cis) and you're also seeking cis males. Therefore you have demonstrated that you're perfectly fine with either sex and either gender, and so "I only date trans women" is not going to get you out of this one.