Any time you start a sexual relationship with a new person, it's a good idea to first have some conversations about the gamut of expectations and desires. Condoms or bareback? Tests up to date? How do you like to be approached? Giver or receiver?
I would say that as far as consent is concerned, if that's something someone is concerned about, they can bring it up during the preliminaries. "Do you want me to ask explicit permission every time we fuck, or is it ok to assume that if you're undoing my belt, you probably want me to fuck your brains out?" or "I'm not always in the mood but sometimes I'm afraid to say so. I would appreciate it if you would ask me for permission every time we have sex." If you can't be mature enough to have those conversations with someone, you shouldn't be putting yourself in a situation where sex is a reasonable expectation, like making out with half your clothes off.
Frankly, the "nothing means no" default is ridiculous. Women need to learn that if they don't want to have sex, they have the power to get up and walk away, or use their words to express their wishes. If someone is doing things you don't like, then stop them. You're not a powerless rag doll. Sure, saying "no" doesn't have to be the word "no," it can be "I'd rather not" or "let's wait" or "your breathe reeks." But c'mon, sticking your tongue down someone's throat and humping them through their jeans sends a pretty clear message, and if that's not the message you're intending to send, then you'd better send an even clearer message by explicitly expressing your denial.
Obviously I'm referring to date-rape scenarios where there was a reasonable misunderstanding on the part of the initiator. If you try to stop someone and they physically force you, that's a whole other can of worms.
“As I am sure any cat owner will be able to tell you,
someone else putting you in a box is entirely different
from getting into a box yourself.” —bisexualbaker
Last edited by SchrodingersCat; 04-04-2014 at 07:22 PM.