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Old 04-03-2014, 07:43 PM
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alibabe_muse alibabe_muse is offline
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Location: North Idaho
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Originally Posted by Lilysmile1 View Post
I also want to mention that when I met him he left his phone laying around unlocked all the time. I never took a look, but I noticed that he did not guard it. To me it meant, nothing to hide. Guess what? Yeah, you guessed it... he is super guarded about his phone now. Who knows what that could mean? A need for privacy just because of all the new and shared things? Scheming to get back together with his X who is the mom of his kids? Financial or other troubles that he prefers I not know? Something else? I tend to see that sort of behavior change as meaning something... am I wrong?
You can't assume he's hiding anything. Why not just ask him rather than wonder since all that is doing is opening up Pandora's box in your mind and our minds, our minds create ways, too often, to wreak havoc that's not there. Always best to ask and then you may find out it's nothing more than him feeling a need for privacy after moving in with his lover and her husband.

Originally Posted by Lilysmile1 View Post
My husband was concerned about supporting him merely because he thought that it would impact our new partners self esteem, and cause harm to the relationship. Could it be as simple as this??
Your husband has hit it on the nose, in my opinion. I have been the bread winner in my marriage for 90% of the time. To have a woman or another man support you, your boyfriend must be going through a huge chunk of self-esteem issues. Guilt, although there shouldn't be any since he's doing his share of helping with the home etc, can lay heavy on any one and it tends to make guy or girl behave in truly unexpected ways.

Good luck and just talk to him. You'll never know without getting him to really open up and communicate to you as well as you communicating to him how this new change in living arrangements and how his behavior is making you question the relationship. How can he "fix" what ever it is to satisfy your needs if you are not telling him as much?

Last edited by alibabe_muse; 04-03-2014 at 07:46 PM.
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