Glad to have you here, even if you are half a state away! I sent you a pm about it, but my mother grew up in your neck of the woods and it's great up there...except for the poly environment.
Are you a member of FetLife.com? It's for the BDSM community, but honestly you'd be surprised how many kinky people are out there and it's the best way to meet other poly people. You don't have to be in the BDSM lifestyle to go or to meet new people and it doesn't cost anything.
There are gatherings where people meet for dinner, but it's not obvious that the group is kinky, so you won't get outed. And people wear normal clothing unless stated otherwise. It just seems like a get together for a hobby club.
You're absolutely right about how people turn up their noses at polyamorism around here, but the younger the crowd, the less that's a problem.
If you ever get down this way, we should hang out!
P.S. You're not a POSER. Stop denigrating yourself that way. You're in the club. See the bouncer for your hand stamp.