Originally Posted by idealist
Many individuals have developed a manner of living that relies heavily on deception and manipulation as a means of self-preservation. It can become a habit and even unconscious. I was shocked when I became fully conscious of how capable I am of manipulation and deception. My experiences with therapy, 12 step recovery groups and interaction with a spiritual teacher brought me to a point where I wanted to be more honest….that was the first step for me. I found that there is great freedom in honesty.
The next step, for me, was honesty with myself. How I have avoided that! It’s not easy to be honest with yourself, especially when your thoughts, feelings, beliefs and/or desires are not in line with what is considered “normal” in the society where you live. Being an extrovert (not that introverts don’t struggle with this) I have struggled with the need and desire to be accepted. So- one of the things I spend a lot of time and energy on is developing and nurturing a peer group of individuals who have similar lifestyles or similar values, and who are operating from a similar level of consciousness with the desire to live an honest life. I believe this forum is an example of that, for me, and that is why I am sharing my story here.
Very cathartic reflections. Thank you for this Idealist! My experiences in poly are very new. My lover has opened me up to it and is helping me become a more honest, open and most importantly TRUSTING person. My husband while accepting isn't quite open about his feelings. I am hoping curiosity helps him discover something better, and to an alternative to the "half-empty glass of life"