Okay, another observation about a triad type dynamic. Me, Hank and Noah were at the same party on Saturday and I slept next to Noah (the party was at his house). He asked me if I'm sure that it's okay for Hank if I sleep next to him. I explained that me and Hank never sleep next to each other anyway, so it doesn't really make a difference. I got the impression that Noah really cares about Hank and wants to be careful not to come between me and Hank in any way or do anything to make him feel bad. I really appreciated that gesture. But at the same time it made me realise there are definitely things I can't speak to Noah about. Things that have to do with Hank. I mean of course I can talk about some things, but there are quite a lot of areas in our relationship that I don't feel comfortable sharing with Noah because of his connection with Hank. That's fine of course, I don't need to talk to him about everything. But it is one of those things I've always imagined would be different in a triad (or dating my partner's friend / friend's partner / having my partner date my friend) and now for the first time I get to actually experience it.
Me: bi female in my 30's
Partners: Hank, Dahlia and Fay
Metamours: Eddie (Dahlia's long-term partner)
Living with Hank, Dahlia, Eddie and rory (my ex/friend)