Originally Posted by GroundedSpirit
If you don't do that - and work toward that - then these "boundaries" can become a control tool and a source of manipulation. Control and manipulation soon undermine any relationship - even friendship.
You have a "boundary" ? Ok. No Problem. For now....
You want to KEEP that boundary ? Then you better have a very good, clear reason you can explain, with illustrations, of why it's necessary and how it's not be used as a manipulative tool to shield insecurity or a fragile ego. And a plan for how you are going to make it go away if that's the case. And everyone agrees to help you in that process.
I really agree with this. I hope in my situation my OSOs SO understands that I want nothing more than a loving friendship with her, and that the boundaries are hindering that growth. I also hope that she would be fair in her projections of me to not only our shared SO but with those people in their lives who are significant to my lover and to also be willing to be wholly part of my life as a friend knowing my family and friends. That is the whole point of this, right?