There is a huge difference between calling a person a derogatory term, like "breeder," and saying a person's actions are dishonest, deceitful, or douchey, in someone else's opinion.
But this thread really needs to get back on topic. More arguing will only result in closing it to additional replies. Besides, this topic has been discussed numerous times before. If you're still interested in learning others' views on when people think one should disclose their poly status, use the Advanced Search feature and try some keywords.