InfinitePossibilities - Thank you and much respect. I appreciate the type of Poly you are living and representing on here.
RiverRose - Thanks for your words. It seems there is all kinds of reasons for people to want to emotionally manipulate and control, even subtle things. Maybe I will start a post in the relationship section to address this more philosophically, I want to explore those experiences and stories more forensically. I am out of that situation largely, although the same dynamic keeps popping up as we seek to permanently separate our lives. We both have our patterns, I am so looking forward to one day soon discarding them for ever, and I hope she can too, I still love her so much, even after all the ugly things. When people hurt they do the worst, often to those closest to them.
I wish we could have bridged that gap but unfortunately we both came up short.
Let me speak of the ladies in my life, who support and sustain me. I am an intimate creature, whose heart speaks a language of physical contact and affection. I have found a need to be more emotionally careful for sure, and very clear about my boundaries and limitations coming out my marriage to Cinder. Luckily I have found some very understanding Adult friendships to help me along.
Raven - Raven and I are still friends. We talk regularly. She lives in another part of the country so obviously we don't see each other, but have maintained our connection and friendship, and still care deeply for each other.
Chiquita - Chiquita has been my friend and lover for over a year now, and she appears later in my story with Cinder. She is 33, a beautiful Finnish / Uruguayan mix. She lives in a nearby city and we have consistently been seeing each other a couple of times a month. She is Bi and we met through a threesome ( with Cinder ) and we kept seeing each other after Cinder and I split up for good. She is lovely and sexy and kind and gentle and sweet. I love her very much, and although we both recognize the impossibility of a more serious relationship we support each other and give each other the intimacy and emotional support that we both need.
Mz. Black - Mz. Black is an old friend that I recently became re-connected with, who is for the first time spreading her poly wings. She is 38, and an amazing mover and shaker in her fields of expertise. We are intimate, yet taking things slowly, as we are both very busy, but the time we have spent together has been wonderful and spirit sustaining. She is also located in a local big city.
Granny - Granny is 48, a local lady who I have connected with. She is fun and funny, and we have a lot of common interests. Yes she is a granny with two kids in their 20's, one with kids. She is probably the fittest 48 year old I have ever met, and so gorgeous and vivacious. We are friends and dating.
Dark Crystal - "Crystal" is another local lady, 43, a professional, who has an interest in a D/s relationship. We are negotiating the parameters of what that could look like, but right now it is all hypothetical. We'll see...
So I am dating. Not making promises I can't keep. Being honest. I still find I am flinchy about disclosing details, but am being up front with everyone. I am finding a place within myself where |I am becoming less invested with other peoples emotional reactiveness. I am learning to let go of things I have no control over... not that I would want that anyways. I let people know what is going on, and am open to questions. I will not over share or try and micro manage reactions. I want life to flow again, and let these relationships go where they want. I am done with the control and manipulations of the past.
I want to rediscover what it is to love, freely, honestly, with integrity.
Last edited by elemental; 03-30-2014 at 05:07 PM.